Exams are coming // Beautiful Japanese men

Exams.are.coming.again!!!!

I mean, what else is there to do as a J2 but eat sleep and study right, hur hur. (The fact that this can actually be read as a literal statement and not one of sarcasm is a bit disturbing. hmm)

But it's the usual drill. I try my best -> I see my results -> Either i'm happy or i'm disappointed -> I try harder (˘･ᴗ･˘)

(I took damn long to find that kaomoji. Please appreciate it.)

Sometimes I pause and wonder if I'm spending my youth right. Just staying at home and studying, being a huge otaku (I'm not at the hikikomori stage yet, for better or worse), and occasionally hanging out with friends?? To be honest, I really don't know. But to be even more honest, I like my life the way it is. HAHA

And perhaps what brought on these thoughts was the fact that everyone else in my school seems to be having the ultimate time of their teenage lives going out but I'm just like being a huge potato...

bUT at least I'm a huge potato rolling towards success!!!

#alwaysthinkpositive

and i feel like making this blog very cutesy, but honestly I'm just bloody lazy to do so. HAHA

//

Andddd like I promised in the title, here are some beautiful Japanese men (aka ikemen, bishounen, bishie) to brighten up your day!

Haruma Miura

Ok Haruma-kun and I go wayyyy back okay. HAHA. First fell in love with him in 2009 when he was casted as Kazehaya (another one of my baes omg another post for another day). And like since then his acting has been improving more and more and he is just so precious pls. Ugh my 7-year crush on him is nothing but sweet yoke. LOL

Kamenashi Kazuya

Ok Kame is basically all i want in a guy. And by 'all i want' I mean double eyelids and gorgeous ponytail-able hairrrrrrrrr. First heard of him when he acted in Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (Live action) and while the show was cheesy af, I really really like him!!! He is so cute asdfghjkl

JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE. How is he 30 years old wtf the 17,18 year olds around me are like carrots compared to him ;__;

Tegoshi Yuya

Ok HOW DO I BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN.

Similar to Kame, I first saw Tego in Yamato Nadeshiko. And god damn is HE THE HONEY SENPAI OF MY IKEMEN OBSESSIONS. Okay maybe not 100% honey senpai, because he has an element of sexiness and /implicit/ hoe tendencies, but still I love him so much.

Summary because I can't rn : Adorable persona(lity), amazing smile, super sexy when needed, AMAZING SINGER (Listen to his latest song ENCORE, it's really nice ;v;)

Tegoshi in Hotaru no Hikari if i'm not wrong! 

(I might just get a seizure if someone so cute sat next to me in a plane.)

Anddd that's all from me today. It's not about quantity, it's about quality. And these men are QUALITY!!!

I hope I can bring good news the next time I'm back. Till then, take care.

-Highly delusional kid

Post-exams life

Hellooooo. Post terms Momoe reporting for duty.

So.. terms are over but life is unsurprisingly mundane. HAHA

I don't really understand the science behind this to be honest. During exam period, doing even a slightly fun thing like window-shopping on Carousell or staring at a wall can be super fun. After exams, suddenly everything fun is dull or too much effort. Sometimes it feels like both. Which is fking crazy hahaha...

BUT!! Very happy to announce that I've stopped being a hermit and gone out almost everyday of the holidays thus far ^_^

Okay maybe it was because I was kinda obliged to go outside. But yolo going outside is going outside man.

And now i'm just really bored because the 'responsibilities' scale just sort of tipped in the opposite direction. If that makes any sense. I mean I have stuff to do but it isn't urgent... or that mandatory...  or pressing... ehehe.

I really want to go out more to USS and have sugary strawberry pancakes but for nao it seems impossibru.

//
最近で、私の日本語がもっと上手くぞう。超嬉しいで感じ。乙女げいむがもっと遊ぶだから改善しました。ちょっと変だよね。でもこれは良い事です！祝うべきですよね！

Arts Night x Tablet

Hey there, it's been a while :)

The past two days have been two of the most unproductive, but fun days I've have this year!! Hopefully there's no correlation between the two, because I would like to believe that being productive is somewhat enjoyable.

Friday

Yesterday, I went for Arts Night at school. 

Initially, I thought it would be kinda boring like last year (went with shitty people, did not know many people either). People always say that first impression counts and my first impression of this event was NOT good. But because my friends were performing, I went to support them despite being really exhausted.

I do not regret my decision at all, because I had a blast!

Yes this is caramelldansen. /cue 2007 memories/

My friends performed really really well, and so did everyone else on stage. It was amazeballs, I could not HAHAHA

And and and after the performance one of my performing friends actl came up and gave me one of the warmest hugs I've ever received in my life. Which made me really really happy inside. I-it's not because he's kinda cute... /cough cough cough/ 

ANYWAY, I had a really fun time and I'm so thankful that I stepped out of my comfort zone to attend this event again despite my bad experience last year. ^_^

Saturday

Today I did... nothing much! (Tbh i'm low key guilty but high key relaxed so imma just sit back and let karma hit me tomorrow when I go 'why didn't I work hard yesterday? T_T)

My sister gave me her tablet on Friday after she got a new laptop so I'm now the proud owner of one white laptop (Juliet) and one black tablet (Romeo)! I feel like they are siblings which makes no sense because R&J are star-crossed lovers but that's besides the point.

Introducing my tablet! 

Bartholomew on top for special effect~

It's really small and compact, but the tablet screen is large enough for comfortable usage! It also comes with a keyboard, which is a little heavy but really useful! 

Yes that's Subaru and Yui. /shot/

My sister saw this and said 'You made it cute!'

I love my tablet so much now! I can imagine it being mighty convenient for me to use for schoolwork and CCA illustrations. It is a little laggy though, but nothing is perfect so I will live with it ^_^

Ironically, this tablet is supposed to aid me in my studies, but today I was really unproductive. HAHA 

Oh well, I'm pretty sure everyone has one of these days. I still have some time to buck the f up before the term exams. 

Speaking of terms, I really want to get good grades but I'm afraid of disappointment. I'm also afraid of the categorising the teachers are gonna do for bio. The anxiety that if I do well, I'll be put in a fast-paced class VS the anxiety that if I do poorly, I'm going to be labelled as 'stupid' is... slightly overwhelming. But the former is certainly better than the latter. Whatever, I will somehow get there.

The other day, my mom told me to stop being so afraid of everything and to start living. I'm taking that advice, but it's still somehow in me to worry a lot. 

Whatever happens, happens. Life is as simple and as complicated as that. 

The other day my GP teacher was presenting us with the theory that we are all part of a computer simulation. Which is mind blowing and really cool. @The person controlling my actions, please make wiser decisions on my part HAHAHA. 

So yeah I guess that's it. Sorry if this post lacks depth because I'm kinda sleepy and overly chill today. Yawn.

Alright that's all from me, thank you for reading. 

Be gentle to yourself.

Source : todoelajo.tumblr.com

Hello. As of now I'm just casually blogging in between studying, because, well... I don't want to overload myself.

Today I'm just going to casually talk/vent about the importance of being gentle to yourself.

You might be thinking, 'what the f is she talking about?' Well, I'm talking about gentleness in both the physical and mental sense.

Here's a textbook definition on what it means to be gentle:

Gentle - to be 'moderate in action, effect, or degree; not strong or violent.'

What does this mean? Well, it took me a long time/effort to truly understand what it means. But I'll try to keep it simple.

To be gentle to yourself means to not be too harsh on yourself, not use unkind words on yourself as some form of twisted motivation, not to use physical violence on yourself when you feel like you did not meet expectations etc.

And you might be thinking - 'Dude that sounds sick. I don't do that often, if at all.' But how sure are you of this?

A lot of us are familiar with the feeling of not being good enough. And this terrible feeling usually comes hand in hand with harsh self-treatment, as well as the erosion of one's self worth.

From seemingly mild thoughts like 'I suck compared to her' to extreme ones like 'No matter how hard I try, I'll never be as good/as pretty/ as smart/ as capable...', all these thoughts are extremely ungentle. Scratch that, they are brutal, unkind words that you should never use on yourself.

And I get it. Sometimes you need that extra push in the form of harshness to get yourself going. But the negative effects of this harsh  motivation is... immense.

For example, If you constantly tell yourself you're not good enough in an attempt to become good enough, what happens when you don't achieve what you want and you end up believing what you told yourself in the first place?

And here's where I bring in the secret recipe - the mental equivalent of comfort food like fish porridge, french fries and crispy fried chicken (for me, heheh.)

Be gentle to yourself. 

Sounds like a tough feat, but really, once you incorporate it into your everyday life, it becomes a lot easier.

EXAMPLES :

Instead of saying...

'I didn't finish my work today. Fuck my life because of my laziness I'm going to lag behind the others.'

Try telling yourself...

'I didn't finish my work today, but that's okay because now that I've acknowledged my mistake/faults, I can work on it and there's always time to be better than I am now.'

For my Chinese friends out there, there's even a succinct, blanket phrase that you can tell yourself gently :

'不要说自己不好，告诉自己明天会更好。'

Translation : Don't say that you're no good, tell yourself that tomorrow will be better.

Sounds better before its literal translation but you get the gist.

For my Japanese friends out there, it may even be much much simpler! Telling yourself the simple 'しょうがない' (shouganai ; it can't be helped) will help to cushion your existing anxieties even just a little and make your life simpler.

You see, instead of eating away at your self-esteem and amplifying your mistakes, being gentle to yourself can help you to -

(a) Acknowledge your mistakes

(b) Redirect yourself to seeking a solution

(c) Preserve your self-esteem, because god damn it we're all humans and sometimes we don't work the way we want ourselves to.

And why am I writing all these? Because ever since I realised this secret recipe of being gentle to yourself, my life became so much easier and more productive.

I'm able to get more work done, all the while feeling significantly less stressed, less boggled down by anxieties, and generally more calm and clear about what I'm doing with my life. 

The feelings of being unloved, inadequate, worthless... They can, and will be washed away by gentle words. Words you don't have to rely on others to hear - Say them for yourself to hear. 

Source : moregeously.tumblr.com

Negativity is like a sea of murky water. If you're in a ship, the only way you can drown is when the sea water gets to you - i.e. when you use harsh words and erode away parts of your ship. But when you're gentle to yourself, you're patching up the broken pieces of yourself. The negativity and darkness will not get to you so easily. 

So I'll leave you with this quote, and hopefully from now on you'll be more gentle to yourself.

'Be careful what you say to yourself, because you are listening.'

That's all from me today, I hope this helps, even just a little ^_^ 

Relax and let go.

Every Chinese New Year it kinda feels like a game of Mario Kart - first I'm cruisin' on, in the lead and errthang, then suddenly I fall off the cliff or circuit and I'm drowning lmao. 

So right now I'm experiencing the stressful period after I return from Malaysia and have a shit ton of responsibilities and assignments because apparently I'm treated like a child but supposed to function like an adult ;v; 

I guess I'm somewhat on track now, but goddamn it I just need to survive this week. And the next. And life, basically. 

I know it's unhealthy to say 'I'll be xxx after this' or 'I'll do xxx after that' but I'll say it anyway. I hope that by the end of this year, I'll somehow find a life that isn't about needing to escape my life. /stares at As/ 

I know it'll all pass by quickly. I know that. I know all that, and that's why I know nothing. 

Excerpt from my diary circa 2014 when I was slugging through Os and apparently 16 year old me thought it was the worst time of my life - 

'Recently school has really been stressing me out. It's not just the exams, but the people and teachers at school are just giving me tons of anxiety... /insert other angst/ I don't know. I just don't know anymore. /more angst/ I haven't had a good break at all since MYE. So horrible ;-; '

And looking back, J2 me now is like 'Honey, you got a big storm comingggg', but I'm sure if my uni self, or maybe even myself when I've become a wife, or a mother, looks back on this, she'll be like 'lmao that JC stuff was hella unimportant and not so worth it stressing about.'

And I guess it's kinda true. One bad grade/ one bad impression/ one bad whatever can't really hurt me in time to come. Actually nothing hurts if you don't let it, right?

Amidst this academic frenzy, I'm still recovering from the pain and sometimes I don't know what's what. But I know that I'm getting somewhere. I'm trying to get somewhere, that is.

Oh well, what's the use of worrying anyway. I'll just be me. And everything will eventually fall into place. If it doesn't 'fall into place', then I'm pretty sure it has just fallen into some other place that doesn't belong to me.

I relax, I let go. 

My life is in perfect flow. 

Absolutely (Story of a Girl)

This is the story of a girl

Who cried a river and drowned the whole world

And while she looked so sad in photographs

I absolutely love her

When she smiles

Now how many days in a year

She woke up with hope

But she only found tears

And I can be so insincere

Making her promises never for real

As long as she stands there waiting

Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes

Now how many days disappear

When you look in the mirror

So how do you choose

Your clothes never wear as well the next day

And your hair never falls in quite the same way

You never seem to run out of things to say

This is the story of a girl

Who cried a river and drowned the whole world

And while she looked so sad in photographs

I absolutely love her

When she smiles

Now how many lovers would stay

Just to put up with this shit day after day

Now how did we wind up this way

Watching our mouths for the words that we say

As long as we stand here waiting

Wearing the clothes or the soles that we choose

Now how do we get there today

When we're walking too far for the price of our shoes

Your clothes never wear as well the next day

And your hair never falls in quite the same way

But you never seem to run out of things to say

This is the story of a girl

Who cried a river and drowned the whole world

And while she looks so sad and lonely there

I absolutely love her

When she smiles

Well your clothes never wear as well the next day

And your hair never falls in quite the same way

You never seem to run out of things to say

This is the story of a girl

Who cried a river and drowned the whole world

And while she looks so sad in photographs

I absolutely love her

This is the story of a girl

Whose pretty face she hid from the world

And while she looks so sad and lonely there

I absolutely love her

This is the story of a girl

Who cried a river and drowned the whole world

And while she looked so sad in photographs

I absolutely love her

When she smiles

When she smiles

--

Today was such a tiring day. I guess I'll list some small achievements to mark the end of my school week with positivity?

Well this week I...
1) Settled the issue that was plaguing me over the weekend.
2) Survived (Mass) PE
3) Did a full IH essay and handed it in :')
4) Went to Art Stage Singapore
5) Managed my time well and got 6,5 hours of sleep per day

It's pretty good I guess.

Sometimes I feel emotionally frazzled by many things but I tell myself that this is life. If one goes through a smooth-sailing life throughout, they might as well jump off the boat because that isn't an adventure at all.

On my part, I have been trying to improve my overall self by being more understanding and friendly but neither is working. Oh well, it's all too bad.

Subaru Sakamaki

Recently, I have fallen in love with Subaru Sakamaki again. 

(I think my schoolmates are kinda against Diabolik Lovers but too afraid to tell me that they hate the series. So to spare them from any agony, my Subaru appreciation spree shall take place here, in my own little sanctuary ^_^)

NOW, WHO IS SUBARU SAKAMAKI? 

Subaru Sakamaki (逆巻 スバル Sakamaki Subaru) is the sixth and youngest son of the Sakamaki household. Subaru is the only son of Christa, third wife of Karlheinz, the Vampire King. Needless to say, Subaru is an adorable vampire himself. 

WHAT SERIES/SHOW IS HE FROM? 

Subaru-kun is from a highly popular otome game series called Diabolik Lovers. The game contains implicit BDSM themes and sexual undertones, but otherwise, it is a very fun, interesting and beautiful otome game (to many shoujos and myself included). Personally, I find the voice-acting very well done and the art is beautiful. Anyway, while Diabolik Lovers started off as a PSP game (Diabolik Lovers : Haunted Dark Bridal) a few years back, it has spawned several other games on the PSP and PSVita, 2 anime seasons, and an OVA. (the 2nd season, Diabolik Lovers : MORE BLOOD, which shares the same title as the 2nd PSP game, is still ongoing right now! HOORAY!!!)

WHY DO YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH?

I don't know where to begin... I think it's a combination of factors actually. (hehehe) To begin with, I've always had a soft spot for tsunderes (If you don't know what that means, google it. I'm a tsundere myself, or at least that's what everyone tells me) and Subaru is a BIG TSUNDERE. So much so, that fans have nicknamed him Tsunbaru because he is just.so.tsun.and.cute.omg. In addition, I've also always been SUPER FOND of 2D guys with white hair. And it sucks because the boys with white hair are usually those that are super prone to danger. Anyway just to prove my point here is another of my cause-of-death-white-haired-anime-boy :

This guy here is Tomoe from Kamisama Hajimemashita. 

As you've probably guessed from his ears, he is not human but rather a fox yokai. 

Also, I'm very crazy about him and I have his poster in my room. 

So yes, when I saw Subaru's white hair I was like. THANK YOU JESUS FOR BESTOWING UPON ME ANOTHER WHITE-HAIRED TSUNDERE. HUEHUEHUE. Although technically I think Jesus and Subaru wouldn't get along well because... Subaru-kun is a vampire. Oops. Anyway, so beneath his tsun-tsun, his dere-dere to the protagonist, Yui Komori, is just so sweet and amazing. I have never watched the anime in full (I heard it's a bad adaptation of the games but I have to find out for myself) but Tsunbaru is a real prickly-sweetheart in the games. *Deep sigh because he is so perfect*

Subaru hugging Yui in the first season of the anime. 

In the games, you play as Yui so technically this is Subaru hugging me ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

Subaru however, is extremely violent. (This is him breaking her phone, LOL)

This has to do with his tragic-af past, which I will touch on someday but not today because

this is Subaru's appreciation post. 

This is Subaru biting Yui. 

(I avoided all the NSFW content already, and you probably saw this coming because he is a vampire right? Please say yes so I don't look like a huge pervert.)

And I think the rest of the reasons why I like him cannot be expressed in English properly but I will try. I don't know why, but I think... it's a language thing? Like for example, I think about anime boys in English and Japanese. I used to think about the guy I liked in secondary school in Mandarin exclusively. Somehow I attach my linguistic abilities onto guys that I like and then obsess about them in that language.

The rest of the reasons include : His adorable cotton candy hair. His appearance as a child. (HE WAS SO CUTE I CANNOT) His loner attitude. Him sleeping in a coffin??? (I feel like Suba tries to be rebellious, which is so cute pls.) Him being subtly sweet to Yui... I REALLY CANNOT HE IS SO CUTE. 

And also, he is a year younger than the protagonist! The girl (or the player, in the games) is 17, and Subaru is 16 years old. And I find this so adorable. Actually, I prefer guys who are the same age as me or younger because somehow I feel like younger guys treat women better??? They also have a bit of a 'little brother who wants to protect his elder sister' vibe which gets me every damn time. (Take note this is my private, personal blog so stop judging my preferences HAHAHA.) In this sense, I don't know what I will do when I get to uni and all the guys are at least 2 years older than me. Sian. Never mind, I will still have Subaru.

And in case you're thinking - 'Tch, she'll forget about Subaru in like a few months.'  NO please. I first liked Len Kagamine (14) when I was 11 and now that I'm 17, and he's still... well, 14, because he is a character, BUT 6 years later I'm still super in love with him and listen to his old and new songs on a regular (if not daily) basis. ((So yes. If there is one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm very 痴情。The two characters, separated, mean 'foolishness' and 'emotions' respectively, but put together, the phrase is used to refer to someone who is extremely devoted to the point of appearing foolish. It is most commonly used to describe romantic feelings for another person.))

SO YES. Now that I have fallen into Diahell (Diabolik Lovers Hell), I don't know how I will get out. Maybe I will never get out. But that's fine because Subaru is here!!!

Not sure if this is S1 or S2, but who cares LOOK AT SUBARU!!!

Also, if you are curious about the rest of the Sakamaki brothers, here they are : 

Left to right : Reiji, Subaru, Laito, Ayato, Shu, and Kanato.

Although Subaru is my favourite, I guess Ayato and Shu come rather close too.

I'm dislike Laito and Reiji looks like Kyouya from Ouran with a sadistic,yandere streak. 

So yes, I think this concludes the post because unfortunately, I still have school tomorrow. 1 hour of History lecture and then lots of CCA... Just the thought of it is really depressing, but at least it's the 2nd last day of school already so after that I can organize my time well to study, play games, and perhaps watch 3 or 4 seasons of anime this school break. 

So that's all from me today, and I think this is a refreshing break and peek into what I've been thinking/doing lately. Apart from studying, I was just thinking about food and Subaru... Which is a nice feeling because it makes me feel like I'm sec 3 again, carefree and deep in anime hell (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ

I was initially planning on making this a two-part post, with the second part being ramblings on my life these 2 weeks or so, but I shall save that for this weekend or something because I'm tired now and I think Subaru deserves this post on his own!

The Diabolik Lovers memes are everywhere and they are golden.

Check them out, andddd see ya!